Researching The Hits That Made The Billboard Top 100 Charts

Job Application... funny

This is an actual job application
a 17 year old boy submitted at a
McDonald's fast-food establishment
in Florida;
and they hired him
because he was so honest
and so darn funny!

NAME:
Greg Bulmash

SEX:
Not yet.
Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION:
Company's President or Vice President.
But seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky,
I wouldn't be applying here
in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options
and a Michael Ovitz style severance package.
If that's not possible,
make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:
Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens
and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m.,
Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited
to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT
YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS
THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU
FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here
would be: "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS
OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner
of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING
IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas,
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy
blonde super model who thinks
I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE
IS TRUE AND COMPLETE
TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE:
Aries.